When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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