But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
