do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
