Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
