i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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