operation harelip BJ is a go
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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