New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
