Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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