i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
