some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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