What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
