He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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