it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
you never un-have a 4some
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
