just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
foreskin is a definite game changer
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
