is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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