Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
