hell yes lets make some ravioli
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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