its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
