Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
