we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
