So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
