You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i am craving dick and cupcakes
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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