I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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