Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
