wanna go halves on a baby?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
