escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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