I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
