went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
