I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
