Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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