Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
