dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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