If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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