He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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