so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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