I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
