New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
