omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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