Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
