we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize