I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Randomize