She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
