So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
