The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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