is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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