Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Congratulations! We have a period
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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