I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
