That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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