My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize