Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
