so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
