we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
