so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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