the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
organizing the empties. That sober.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize