Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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