my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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