I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
