how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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