I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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