U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
