Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
