My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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