There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
