did you get engaged???
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
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