I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize