I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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