She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
