all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
