That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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